The Softer Side‎ > ‎

Dale Carnegie's Principles


Part I: Fundamental techniques in handling people

  • don’t criticize, condemn or complain
  • give honest and sincere appreciation
  • arouse in the other person an eager want

Part II: Six ways to make people like you

  • become genuinely interested in other people
  • smile
  • remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  • be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves
  • talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  • make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely

Part III: How to win people to your way of thinking

  • the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
  • show respect for the other person’s opinions, never say “you’re wrong”
  • if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
  • begin in a friendly way
  • get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
  • let the other person do a great deal of the talking
  • let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
  • try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
  • be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
  • appeal to the nobler motives
  • dramatize your ideas
  • throw down a challenge

Part IV: Be a leader: how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

  • begin with praise and honest appreciation
  • call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
  • talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
  • ask questions instead of giving direct orders
  • let the other person save face
  • praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement, be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
  • give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
  • use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct
  • make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest